Today, I was doing some assessment of work my Grade 8 Humanities students did. I wrote this, over and over and over, in various forms.
You make a strong point. You must take it further than this. It is important to explain and expand. You could give an example to make your thinking clear. You could connect to your own life, and explain why you relate to this situation.
Your voice, your opinion, your ideas are important. The reader should get to know something about you. Anybody could make this point – now make it yours by showing your perspective. No one will see it quite the same as you, and this uniqueness is what matters. In English, the marks are in the details, the explanations, and your voice.
More importantly, you figure out what you think when you write. You figure out what you believe, how you want your life to be. You figure out what you want your relationships to be like. You figure out what is important to you.
What you have to say matters.
We are going to keep working on this.