Yesterday, today looked promising

Yesterday, today looked so promising.

I told my husband I was looking forward to it, a day full of hour-on-hour of relaxed dealing with the to-do list. Marking, laundry, some online work, blogging, phone calls, maybe some baking while listening to my favourite CBC shows. No going in to school. Period. Pure pleasure.

But as always, life happened. Our son woke up in the night, sick.I got up later than planned. We had 17.5 cm of snow overnight, heavy and wet. Shoveling, shoveling and more shoveling. Great exercise, but it took a lot of time. No access to documents in cyberspace while I waited for the snow to melt off the satellite dish. Up and down the stairs with tea, miso soup, hugs because he was missing the Slush Cup event at the ski hill. A relative called who is suffering from a very brutal disease. A neglected friend, leaving for a week to go visit a very sick family member, and so I went to have a quick visit. Heart and mind heavy.

Oh, and a pile of English 10 tests the students wrote last week for the dystopian fiction unit. Excited and curious to see what they wrote, but I couldn’t get my head into it.

I folded laundry and listened to Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts. Tick. That felt good.

Shovelled more snow, but the usual mental relief from physical activity did not last long. My brain is like swiss cheese and I keep forgetting what I should be doing.

Ah, well. Redefined the list of what was going to get done this day, made dinner and watched a movie with my family. Let go.

Yesterday, today looked so promising.

Over the last few years, I felt like I was really flying high on my profession. I was engaged in integrating technology. I was reading about and practicing formative assessment. I was planning a research-in-action project with a colleague. I was working hard to get students engaged in their learning. I was immersed in curriculum development. I was surfing Twitter, the net, education sites and bloggers, immersed in finding new tools, new ideas and new colleagues. I began to blog as a way to clarify my thinking and share my learning.

It felt like I could finally fly high enough to see the big picture. Exhilarating.

Last June, I started to feel like I was looking over my shoulder at an advancing enemy.  However, I flew on, kept reading, writing, teaching, enjoying the rush of the flight.

Today….

I feel like I have been shot from the sky. I know. This sounds overly dramatic. Doesn’t make it less true. Somehow, some people have decided to put me and my colleagues into the middle of an ideological battle. I can’t see the future; heck, I can barely see the present. The stress is starting to manifest itself. I’m limping to Spring Break -one week.

I wonder when we’ll get back to flying high.

2 thoughts on “Yesterday, today looked promising

  1. You are appreciated. Your students, family, friends, loved ones, colleagues, administrators, fellow bloggers, twitter followers, parents – to name just a few, appreciate you. You are an educator through and through, it is your passion – no need to defend why you do what you do. From the media we receive a skewed view of our station, and from the government we deal with direct intimidation. In the times like these when we feel battered, beaten, and chewed out for our profession, it can truly feel like a war of attrition. Keep heart. Hold fast. Stay true to who you are. You are a teacher. An educator. A leader. A figure for inspiration. Be not distracted by this quagmire, it is nothing new – you are appreciated in everything that you do.

    • Wow. Thanks. I know this in my heart, but you have no idea how nice it is to hear it. I have been trying to tell myself this a lot – and the other wonderful educators I work with. The advertisements are what really get me. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am back at work today, and looking straight at the reason I am here – the students. It helps keep it in perspective. Have a great week, and thanks for commenting.

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